From Hell to Heaven
by beaandmarco
Summary: Bella is growing up and is starting to make friends. But when her friends betray her in the worst way, she copes by self-harming. Edward and his family are the ones to help her with the transition from the grasp of hell to heaven. *warning* rape, drinking
1. PROLOGUE

A/n: hello everyone.. my name is bea and this is my first story... so dont jump me.. lol.. i dont have a beta yet but i am working with another author... her name is baysidebird88 and she is an awesome author.. she already has a few stories up and they are great.. well like i said this is my first story and i dont know how to work these things... lol... but i will catch on... lol... if you have any questions or comments please send me a review and let me know what you think or something to help me out.. thank you... -Bea3

Prologue

I sat in class wondering how I was going to make it through the day. My forearm stung from my injuries. Flashbacks came to me during the lesson. Flashbacks of the blade, the blood, the utter ecstasy of the pain. The adrenalin running through my veins, egging me on to continue. And then the sweet release of my being. I welcomed the blackness. Treated it as my lover. Wishing for it to never go away, and when it did, I would do whatever it took to bring it back. That meant slashing my arm once again to bring back the love of my life.

The bell rang, snapping me out of my flashback. I rose from my seat slowly. I felt dizzy. When I stood up completely, I heard a faint drip, drip, drip on the floor. I looked down and saw the 3 drops of blood pooling on the floor.

Mr. Molina came towards me and said "Bella class is..." He stopped short when he saw that my eyes were glued to the floor. He gasped when he saw the blood. He looked straight at my arms and saw that my right arm was bleeding.

He took my wrist and immediately let go and looked at his own hand. He saw that his hand was covered in my blood. I saw his eyes grow wide in terror.

"Bella, may I see your arm?" he asked.

In a zombie-like manner, I raised my right arm to eye- level and pulled back my blood soaked sleeve. Once i did that, Mr. Molina's eyes grew wider. More blood crept out of the deep gashes. I lowered my arm and regretted it immediately. The blood ran down in ribbons. When I saw this, the tears flowed down my face. Mr. Molina ran out the door to probably call for help. But then the corners of my mouth turned up in a smile. The pain was back, the adrenalin rushing throughout my body, begging me to continue, and i felt the sweet release. Then... nothing...


	2. Story of My Life

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A/N: sorry this chapter took so long to post. i just want to let everyone know i love the support you have given me in the author alerts and for adding my story to your favorites list.. it means so much to me.. lol.. i also want to thank baysidebird88 for beta-ing my story.. lol.. she is awesome and I could not have done it with out her.. lol.. she has some awesome stories and you should check them out.. lol.. like i have said before im new to this but I have been on the ff site for a while.. lol. but i few things i have picked up

**are.**

**1)always mention that all characters belong to stephenie meyer and i have no intentions for copyrighting anything...**

**2)always thank the readers.. lol..**

**3)always ask for suggestions and thank the readers for them.. lol..**

**4) don't make the authors note so long.. thanks a bunch everyone.. enjoy**

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**Chapter 2: Story of my life**

My parents were the opposite of perfect. They told me that I was a stupid mistake. I was conceived at a high school graduation party, which means that I was not supposed to exist. My mother forgot to take the pill and got drunk along with my father who was high on everything except his underwear. They met and I guess they hit it off because I was born nine months later. They gave me the name Isabella Marie Swan.

Shortly after that my parents got married in a cheap Las Vegas chapel to "try" and save their relationship. They mostly dumped me off at my Gran's House, while they went off and 'lived their lives'. Gran cared for me more than my parents ever did. God bless her soul. She took care of me till the day she died. I was only eight years old.

When I became older, I started to understand what was going on between my parents. I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear their spats. My parents would say such horrid things about each other. I don't even want do remember the exact words they used. I would hear crashes and grunts of physical fighting. In the morning, I would see the fresh wounds on my mom and dad. When all this was happening I was fourteen years old.

Freshman year came around and so did my fifteenth birthday. Shortly after that, my parents finally divorced. The courts found my father a better candidate for my custody because he had a stable job as Chief of Police, and was not on drugs like my mother.

My father and I never really conversed much so I don't remember our conversations. Our only conversations were usually short statements or questions.

"Where are you going?" or "I'm going to work."

Then again we never really did build a relationship. I could never have a relationship with Charlie. He just never cared about me after the divorce. The divorce was one thing he just could not get over. After that everything changed my life. It was that point in my life that I started to lose my hope in humanity.

Freshman year was the worst year of my life. The students were always trying to make a name for themselves. Superficial and snobby were perfect names to describe them. I hated all of them. I never really fit in with anybody so I mostly kept to myself. No one showed me the slightest interest, but that was fine with me. There was one person who was interested… Or so I thought…

Her name was Becky. She was perceived to be the refined girl next door. Becky was tall and leggy with long natural blond hair and an hour glass figure. Blue eyes and flawless skin completed her face. She was the type of person who could shoot Abercrombie and Fitch ads. Becky could go to school in a bikini

and no one would care. She was always involved in every school functions; Blood Drives, S.A.D.D, Prom Committee you name it, she was in it.

But then she became my friend. I was surprised how fast we became friends. She talked to me about everything and I told her about my parents and how I truly felt about them. She said she knew understood what I felt, because she felt the same way. That's when I got the feeling that I had hope in my life. We would talk on the phone for hours like any normal teenager would.

Becky and I were having a conversation on the phone one day.

"So how was school for you today?" asked Becky.

"Terrible." I grumbled out.

"Aww. That's too bad."

"How was yours?" I asked.

"Oh! I got invited to a party this weekend; do you want to go with me?" Becky solicited.

"I don't know Becky. You were the one that was invited, not me." I only said this because I have never been to a party in my life and I didn't want Becky to know this.

"Silly Bella, I'm inviting you."

"Are you sure? You... you really want me to go Becky?" I stammered.

"Bella you are my best friend of course I want you to go."

"Well if you put it that way Becky, ok." I agreed.

"YAY!!" Becky squealed so loud I had to pull the phone off my ear.

"Bella we need to go shopping for outfits."

"Where are we going to go for the outfits?" I questioned.

Becky replied, "Well there is a new boutique in town and I think we should check it out."

"Ok, let's go!" I said with much excitement.

I was guessing this is what normal teenagers do with their friends. Becky was the type of girl that liked me even though I had a wall up 24/7 and was messed up on the inside. That gave me much hope to my heart. This meant that there were people out in the world that could help me.

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We arrived at a boutique called Wonderland. Once I saw the name of the store, I began to worry. Becky and I walked in and the first thing that caught my eye was an array of lacy, gauzy and very revealing undergarments. Toys littered the wall...

I turned to Becky, grabbed her arm and said, "Becky, I can't do this!"

"Bella, it's going to be fine. I promise."

"Are you sure? You really promise?"

"Bella, I promise you that I would never, ever hurt you. I will take care

of you."

I smiled at that. I had a feeling that she was being honest with me. She really meant what she said. I felt a tiny portion of my wall chip off.

I smiled at her and said, "Ok Becky, I trust you."

"Yes! Ok, first things first; are you a virgin Bella?"

I blushed a deep crimson and responded "Yes."

"Alright, we have to get you something innocent looking. You can't look like a slut your first time." She explained.

"First time?" I whispered.

"Yeah, your first PARTY, silly!" I was worried when she put emphasis on the word party.

"Oh." Was all I could say.

"What's your favorite color Bella?" Becky questioned.

"I kinda like purple, but I like blue the most."

"We will go with purple for tonight."

"Alright." I said indifferently.

We scanned most of the clothes in the store. She picked a red mesh top that exposed her abdomen, a black lace push up bra and a black leather mini skirt. Slick red pumps completed her outfit.

The way she picked her outfit make me thing about her personality. She was a good girl on the outside, but was she really like this on the inside? Did she have a side of her that I didn't know of? But in the end I decided that friends don't judge one another and I felt bad for thinking that about my best friend.

I bought a purple top which was very form fitted and the neck line came to the top of my breasts to show just enough cleavage. Becky bought me a black push up bra to match hers.

I also bought a black skirt that ran mid thigh. It was ruffled like a school girl's skirt. I thought it was revealing but Becky said I looked wonderful in it.

She picked out some black pumps for me to wear, but all I could say about them is "I'm going to fall."

Becky said to just watch my step. I blushed a little at my outfit, but I trusted my friend.

After shopping we went to her house to get ready for tonight. Once I was dressed, she took me to her bathroom and applied the makeup. She started with foundation. She said I didn't need a lot because she said I had beautiful skin as it was.

Next was the powder. Just the smallest amount of it was applied along with the blush. Becky put very little because she probably knew that I would be blushing a lot tonight.

She brushed some black eye shadow and made the "smoky" affect. She said it was to make me look mysterious. She applied some eyeliner and black mascara.

Clear lip gloss was applied to my already cherry colored lips. My hair was curled, teased, and sprayed to

complete the makeover.

I heard Becky clap her hands and said, "All done! You can look now!"

I didn't realize I had my eyes closed but I opened them and looked at myself for the first time. I was obviously different. I didn't look like myself, because this is something I would never put on myself.

I never actually never wore make up much. But once again Becky said, "Trust me Bella."

And I did... God I was so stupid to trust her.

Becky and I got into her car and drove off to the party. It was about a twenty minute drive when we arrived. I could hear the music a mile away as it blasted out of the house. We parked across from the two story house. I opened my door and Becky was already out of the car. She came to my side, looked me up and down and said "You look awesome!"

"I don't feel like myself."

Becky said, "Don't worry Bella. Just go with the flow. Relax..."

I tried my best to do just that. I nodded and gave her a weak smile. Her face lit up and we crossed the street. I fumbled a bit on walking, but made it to the walk way. My heart was pounding out of my chest the entire way to the door and to say I was nervous was an understatement.

Becky rang the door bell and said to me, "Just relax, Bella. Everything will be perfect."

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**Reviews please! (:**


	3. The Party

**Chapter 2- The Party**

**A/N: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ADDED MY STORY ON ALERT. IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. LOL.. SORRY IT TOOK ME LONG TO POST THIS.. I HAVE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ****MY GRANDMOTHER IN THE HOSPITAL. I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I JUST WANT HER TO GET BETTER. BUT ANYWAY.. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS CHAPTER.. IF ANYONE HAS ANY ****SUGGESTIONS TO WHERE THE STORY SHOULD GO OR ANYTHING SUCH AS A PLAYLIST OF SOMESORT BY ANYMEANS SEND ME A PM OR REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.. ON WITH THE STORY!!!**

**STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT. THATS WHY SHE IS LIVING THE GOOD LIFE AND IM JUST A DORK WHO LOVES HER STUFF.. LOL..**

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**Last Chapter:**

_"Just relax Bella. Everything will be perfect."_

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**Chapter Two: The Party**

**Bella POV**

I stood at the door next to Becky waiting for someone to answer it.

Finally the door opened and we were greeted by Jessica. She smiled at Becky, turned to me and her smile faded.

Jessica sneered and said "Becky I thought we talked about this."

Becky rolled her eyes and said "Don't worry Jessica." Then she winked her eye.

Jessica smiled and walked away.

"Becky what was all that about?" I asked, worried.

"Jessica didn't want you to come, but I told her that I wasn't coming without my best friend!"

For that, I almost started crying. Without a doubt I knew she was my best friend. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere. Becky made me feel like I had a purpose. I didn't know what it was yet, but I knew I would find out soon.

Becky grabbed my arm and told me we needed to circulate.

We walked through the main hall way and into the living room. I knew it was the living room because there was a huge plasma screen TV mounted on the wall.

Family pictures were scattered across any flat surface. The wooden floor was a nice oak wood and was glossy like it had just been polished. The walls were a lovely pale peach. On one side of the living room was a pair of French double doors with soft pink flowing drapes. The doors were open and led to

the patio where bright lights flickered and multicolored rays of light danced across the perfectly manicured grass.

The living room was where you danced when the patio was full. The music was loud, but not enough to disturb the neighbors. This was possible because this house was located at the very end of the cul-de-sac

spaced out very far from the other houses.

It seemed that the vegetation helped muffle the sound. Some hypnotic techno music was flowing out of the speakers. Some easy rhythm that made it easy to sway with it.

Becky introduced me to some people and we started talking. Their names were Eric, Mike, and Tyler. All of them were nice and treated me amiable.

Then suddenly Becky excused herself and said she would come back. All of the guys led me to an overstuffed, stiff couch. It was a good thing we sat down because my feet were hurting. This was the last time I would let Becky pick my shoes.

Mike started talking to me first. "So Bella, where did you find your outfit. It's really… interesting."

I blushed and said, "Oh. Thanks. Becky and I went to a store called Wonderland. Its new."

"Nice choice, purple is my favorite color on you. It makes you look sexy."

I got chills when Mike said that. I felt uneasy. Becky came back with two plastic cups. Something kicked in when I saw her walking with the red-colored party cups. Red cups were synonymous with alcohol. I was a little nervous about drinking. I never had a drink in my life. The whole "just say no" bit came into my mind, but I wanted to fit in, right?

Becky handed the cup to Mike. He took a sip, winced and mumbled "Shit.", under his breath.

Mike looked at me, smiled and said "You thirsty Bella?"

I was a little scared and so I asked "What is it?"

"It's just Coke Bella." He said while he extended his arm and swirled the cup around.

I took the cup and looked inside. The liquid looked dark and fizzy. I raised the cup to my lips and took a sip. I got the flavor of Coke first then I got a hint of something stronger. I didn't want Becky or the guys

thinking that I was a wimp for not being able to drink.

I took another gulp and swallowed quickly. It burned a little on the back of my tongue but nothing I could not handle.

Mike was smiling at me the entire time I was drinking. He seemed happy that I was. It made me smile to know that I was being accepted by him. Eric left and came back with four drinks. Two for me, one for Mike and another for Tyler. The burn went away after the second drink and tasted good by the third.

I never felt so liberated in my life. It was like all my problems went away. It felt like Novocain. It numbed me. Numbed me of all complications and worries that I lived with every day.

Once my feet were rested, I decided to walk around a little. I needed to stretch my legs so to say. Mike was leading me around the house. We walked around the living room. I drank cup for and five and started to feel really good. Mike took me to the patio and we sat on the lawn chairs and started talking.

"So Bella, how are you feeling?" asked Mike.

"I feel really good Mike. You?"

"Really loose." He slurred a little.

"Yeah I feel the same way. It feels great. I feel like a regular person. I don't have to worry about my dad who ignores me or my mom... Well I don't even know where she is. Last I heard she lost her house, along with her mind and is on the streets asking for change to buy drugs. Both my parents don't care about me. Maybe it wont matter because I have friends like you guys." I slurred out, as hot tears rolled down my face.

Mike leaned in and wiped away the tears with his fingers and handed me another drink. That make six cups. Six numbing cups.

At this point I felt really loose. I had a little trouble controlling my laughter and when I danced, I didn't care how raunchy I did it.

Mike came up from behind me and handed me another cup. I drank half of it in one gulp. Mike put his lips next to my ear and said "Wanna dance with me sexy?"

I think I said yes because I felt Mike slide his hands around my waist. We swayed gently to the music that was playing. We moved slowly at first to figure out who should be leader. I decided to let Mike lead. Eric came up to Mike, clapping a hand against his shoulder and cut in.

Mike gave him a high five and walked away. Eric had a blue cup in his hand and gave it to me. I took it without asking what it was and finished it all.

By the eighth drink I was really starting to feel the alcohol. I stumbled a bit more and said a little too much.

My speech was beyond slurred, just unfinished words jumbled together; and the party scene was constantly shifting. The faces blurred and the voices tunneled in and out.

I felt someone circle their arms around my wais and spun me towards the middle of the floor. I grabbed the person's shoulders to hang on. I could still make out faces a little. It was Eric. He had this strange look in his eyes. They were a bit red and glossy. His eyes had a twinkle like he was up to something.

I don't know why but I felt uneasy again. I was a bit scared. He smiled at something that he saw on my face. Probably fear. I let go of his shoulders and stumbled away. I took my shoes off to give me a bit

more balance.

Someone grabbed me by the wrist and spun me around.

"Ugh, not so fast!" I said

The sudden spin made my head hurt and my insides twist.

This person was a bit difficult to see. But the blond hair and blue eyes were a dead giveaway. Mike.

"Bella, its Mike, are you ok?" he asked in my ear.

"No, I think I'm drunk." I giggled a little.

"Do you want to lie down? Be more comfortable?"

"Yeah, where is Becky?"

Mike responded, "She is upstairs. I was going to take you there to rest."

I felt like someone threw me a life preserve. I desperately needed to hear those words. I could kiss Mike for just saying that, and I did. It was a small peck on the lips to thank him.

He smiled, cupped my face with one hand and game me a kiss on the lips in a "you're welcome" kind of way.

I felt the ground leave my feet as Mike threw me over his shoulder. "Eric! Tyler!" I heard Mike yell over the music.

I was a bit confused as to why Eric and Tyler were going upstairs with Mike and I.

"Mike, why is Eric and Tyler going with us?" I questioned.

"They are going to help you get settled. Don't worry Bella." I did just what Mike said. I didn't worry.

Mike was a good guy and I know that my friends were going to take care of me.

We got to the second story of the house and I was relieved. I couldn't wait to lie down.

All of a sudden I heard a voice say, "Be careful Bella." I looked around to see who was trying to warn me.

No one was looking at me.

"What did you say Mike?" I tried to slur out.

He looked at me like I was going crazy and said, "I didn't say anything Bella."

It could not have been Mike because that voice was the most beautiful voice I ever heard in my life. It was like a mixture of angels and wind chimes. So smooth and secure., but there was a hint of desperation to the warning. Like a guardian angel.

Yes! It was my guardian angel , trying to save me.

I heard a door open and close. Mike set me on the bed. I sat up and his eyes bore into mine. He brushed my bangs behind my ears.

"Damn Bella, you looked hot tonight." He complimented

"Aww.. Mike that's nice. Gosh Mike, you guys are so nice to me. You make me feel like I belong somewhere." I said with such honesty.

Or maybe it was the alcohol that was talking for me.

An awkward look came over his face. It looked like he wanted to apologize for something.

"Ugh! I cant do this!" Mike said as he stood up.

"Bella, walk quietly out of the room and go. Leave the party and go home."

There was a haste to his words. The rush of them made me jump up and run to the door. When I reached it, it swung open and I was met by Eric and Tyler. They had evil looks on their faces. Like a lion about to pounce and shred a helpless lamb apart.

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**A/N: *DUCKING AWAY FROM THE MOB* PLEASE DONT KILL ME! LOL.. JUST A BIT OF A WARNING THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE A BIT HARD TO STOMACH.. MY FRIEND****ACTUALLY THREW UP. GOD BLESS HER LITTLE SELF.. LOL.. SINCE I AM AN ACTUAL VEGETARIAN REVIEWS ARE LIKE TOFU TO ME!!! I LOVE EVERY SINGLE SERVING I GET!! ****LOL.. IM ACTUALLY LISTENING TO MARILYN MANSONS IF I WAS YOUR VAMPIRE! LOL. JUST A LITTLE TID BIT FOR YOU. LOL.. I WILL TRY TO UPDATE AS SOON AS I CAN.. ****SINCE I LOVE THE REVIEWS SO MUCH, AND I KNOW ITS EARLY TO BE DEMANDING A NUMBER OF REVIEWS TO CONTINUE, BUT I HOPE TO HAVE AT LEAST 12 MORE REVIEWS TO ****CONTINUE. REMEMBER IM ASKING NICELY.. I DIDNT SAY "I WANT!!!" I SAID I HOPE.. LOL.. SO PLEASE CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON! ITS YOUR FRIEND!!**


	4. All Innocence Is Gone

**A/N: HELLO EVERYONE AGAIN.. SORRY FOR THE ABSENCE.. LOL.. I WAS WORKING MY ASS OFF ON THIS CHAPTER... I WOULD LOVE TO THANKK EVERONE FOR THE REVIEWS... THEY**

**MEAN SO MUCH TO ME... ANOTHER HUGE THANKS TO MY WONDERFUL BETA BAYSIDEBIRD88... SHE IS AWESOME AND THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN A DISASTER IF IT WASNT FOR HER... **

***WARNING:THIS CHAPTER IS FOR MATURE READERS.. IM NOT KIDDING. MY FRIEND THREW UP WHEN SHE READ IT. SORRY***

**I WISH I OWNED TWILIGHT, BUT I DON'T :[**

They say ignorance is bliss… I guess that does not apply anymore…

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**Ch. 3 All Innocence is Gone**

**Bella POV**

They walked up to me like they were predators stalking helpless pray, the sight frightening to me. The fact that I was intoxicated didn't help me at all. It make me even more uncoordinated. I stumbled more as I tried to escape. Mike was right. I had to get away from the party. It was dangerous, very, very dangerous.

Behind me, Mike was trying to defend me.

"Guys this isn't funny anymore!" He screamed.

Tyler looked at him and laughed. "Come on Mike, just follow the plan and everything will go without a hitch."

"What are you guys going to do to me?!" I asked in a rush.

"What you had coming to you Bella." Eric answered with a smile.

The first thing that came to mind was that I was going to die of the hands of my closest "friends".

They boxed me in the room to attack me. My feet somehow took me to a corner of the room to cower and pray that they would not hurt me. This was every girl's worst dream. Being hurt by the people she trusted.

Suddenly the door swung open and Becky appeared. I ran to her and threw my arms around her and hugged her.

"Becky! I'm so glad you're here! Please take me home!" I begged her.

"I don't think so Bella." She said and shoved me to the bed.

I looked at her with surprise and shock. She was supposed to be my best friend and she was feeding me to the wolves. Something clicked in my brain when I thought this. Becky was not my friend. All along she was setting me up for this fate. The outfit, the makeup; it was all a lie. She purposely make me look like a slut to get the boys all rattle up.

Her words would forever haunt me. 'Just relax Bella, everything will be perfect.' This night was not going to be perfect.

"Are you surprised Bella? Didn't expect this from me did you?" Becky playfully asked, raising a perfect manicured eye brow.

"Now that I see who you really are, yes I did expect this." I replied.

"You bitch!" She screamed and punched me in the jaw.

I have never been struck in the face before. It's a good thing that I was drunk or I would have felt the full blow. I knew for certain that it was going to leave a bruise. There was no questioning that. My skin always bruised easily. My head whorled around from the punch and I lay flat on the bed.

"Becky! Don't do this please!" Mike pleaded.

"Shut the fuck up, Mike! You are in on this too. You knew this was going to happen. You helped me plan this too." Becky pointed out.

Mike just lowered his head and whispered, "I know."

"If you want to back out like a little bitch, go ahead and do it!" Becky spat.

Mike walked to the bathroom that was in the room and shut the door.

"Jessica!" Becky, the back stabbing skank, shrieked.

"Yes Becky!" Jessica sang.

"Are you ready for the show?"

"I am so ready Becky," responded Jessica eagerly.

Great. I was the sick show for the people to see. Was there going to be an audience? Were people going to watch as my life was being ruined.

"Jessica, lets begin." Said Becky said as she sealed my fate.

Jessica went to the drawer and opened it. She pulled out a video camera. So this is how people were going to see my horror story. Jessica turned it on and pointed it to Eric and Tyler. They started to take off their shirts and undo their belts. Now my knowledge was kicking in. I was going to be raped.

Becky walked over to the bed and slapped me this time. I whimpered at the stinging pain that was now covering my face. She climbed on the bed and started beating me. I felt her blows come from all over my body. I curled up in a ball to try and defend myself from the attack.

She finally finished her assault and Eric walked over to the bed next. I was hurt both physically and mentally. My body went limp and I awaited my fate.

Eric climbed on and Jessica followed with the camera. He started to feel me up over my clothes. Touching every inch of my body with his disgusting hands.

He turned to the camera and said "I think she has too much clothes on," and with that, he ripped my shirt off and exposed my bra and bare abdomen.

I have never been exposed to a boy in all my life. I had expected it to be with my husband on our wedding night when we gave ourselves to each other. Now my first time was going to be a nightmare. Something forced upon me, rather than the both of us waiting until we were ready.

Eric started kissing my abdomen and moved up my torso. He got to my ribs and I started to tremble violently. I could not control my convulsing body. It was all the adrenalin pumping through my body, enhancing my flight or fight response. I guess my mind was too numb from the shock to make my body run

away or fight back.

He raised his head to get a look at my chest. My bra was made so that the clasp was in the front. Eric saw this and undid my bra. I was half naked in front of my attacker.

He eyed me and said, "Damn Bella, you're the hottest thing I have ever seen. This is my lucky night."

I started to cry at what he said. It was his lucky night. This was the zenith of his night and mine was turning into pure shit. This night was the night where I was going to be broken and torn into bits. He was going to take away something I was never going to get back.

He roughly grabbed my breasts and started to knead them. He let them go and started to kiss and suckle them. The tears were streaming down my face. They were uncontrollable and involuntary.

Suddenly I felt his hand go up my skirt and pull down my panties. He didn't even bother to take off my skirt. I guess I could thank him for not taking it off. I would have really lost it.

He slid his fingers into me and started to pump his fingers in and out. He frowned and said, "Bella, you're not even wet, that's ok! It doesn't even matter to me."

Suddenly I got my voice back and begged. "Eric, please! Don't do this. You're a good person. Don't let Becky turn you into something evil."

"But I am a little evil…" he said and smiled.

When he said that, I know my battle was lost. I was not going to escape. I was going to lose everything that I had left of myself. My dignity was taken when I was beaten and had my clothes stripped off. I was made into a total fool in front of my classmates. They would never let me live this down. I was going to be their sick joke that everyone was going to remember.

They will point and laugh, sneer and make their jokes. Nothing will ever be the same. Everything lost its innocence. I was no longer a person anymore. My entire being was turned into nothing in just a few moments.

Eric told me that I had this coming to me. What did I ever do to deserve this? Did I say something to upset Becky, Jessica, Eric, or even Mike? Was I too drunk to remember what I said? Then again I should…

"AAAAAHHHH!!!!" I screamed as I felt Eric slam himself into me. I felt the tear of my virginity. The only thing that I had left and it was ripped away in seconds. I was tainted and filthy. I felt sick to my stomach as Eric went in and out of me.

He was kind enough to go slow at first to I guess build up the anticipation for himself. There was no way in the world that I could ever be turned on by what was happening to me. With that I started to fight against Eric.

I tried to push him off but I was overwhelmed by the pain that he was inflicting on me emotionally and physically. The pain was excruciating between my legs. I continued to push him off as he continued to rape me.

"Tyler, hold her down!" Becky commanded as she watched the crime in front of her.

Tyler went to the bed and grabbed my arms. He pinned them down forcefully causing fresh bruises to develop. It felt like hours went by, but it was probably only minutes. I just wanted him to stop.

"Oh damn! Ahh!" Eric moaned as I felt his hot seed spurt into me. I wanted to throw up. It was the most disgusting thing that could happen to anyone. I was nothing. I felt empty inside. My chest was hollow where my heart was supposed to be. My heart was supposed to belong to the love of my life. It was supposed to be in the hands of the person that I had such strong feelings for; like my husband or boyfriend. I don't thing I could ever be close to a boy or man for that matter. This would forever haunt me.

Eric collapsed on top of me and started to kiss my neck. I was disgusted with him and myself. My body shut down and the tears were cascading down my face. My body turned stoic and I swear that my soul left my body. He pulled out of me and I closed my eyes. I didn't want to run the risk of seeing him naked. I would have really thrown up at that moment. I could hear him put on his pants, shirt and shoes.

As I lay there half naked on the bed, I had a little time to reflect. The obvious was that I was just raped. My dignity was stolen from me and I was never going to get it back. I was made to look like a damn fool in front of the people who I thought were my friends. They stabbed me in the back, in every way possible.

Becky make me look like a whore, to show me off. I was just a little play-thing in her life. Something that was a one-time use and was easily disposable. My life meant nothing to her and she was never going to regret this night.

I was a free show for them to see. Amusement for their sick minds. My virginity was stolen from me. Something that was supposed to be sacred and worth waiting for. I was never going to be the perfect girl for anyone. I was broken. Damaged goods that would be rejected by all people.

Death didn't seem so bad now, I wished for it. In my head I prayed that God would just take me off of the earth, so that I could be put out of my misery. To never feel the pain of the events that took place.

What snapped me out of my reflecting was Jessica turning the camera towards Tyler. He was stripping in front of her. Tyler then turned to me and had the same look on his face as Eric had. That's when I knew that they were not done with me yet… This would never end…

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**A/N: OK THIS CHAPTER WAS HARD TO WRITE... IT WAS HARD BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY WHOLE LIFE... I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WENT THORUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS... AND IT WAS HARD TO HEAR IT FROM HER BUT I STUCK BY HER SIDE AND LOVED HER NONE THE LESS... NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE OUT AS SOON AS I CAN.. TILL NEXT TIME... **

**BEA XX**

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	5. My Escape

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**A/N: *runs hand through hair and neck* yea I know its been a while since I have updated... like I said, college is kicking me in the ass and im trying to keep up. Give my beta Baysidebird88 a big hug because I could not do it with out her. But here is what you all have been waiting for...**

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When you get older, something about you dies. I feel so old. I guess that means lots of things died inside of me.

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**Chapter Four: My Escape**

"Yeah. Oh! Ahh!" Tyler moaned while he had his orgasm

The pain was worse with Tyler. He didn't go slow at all, instead he slammed into me over and over again. Every time he thrusted inside of me, I felt like he was going to rip me open even more. My body had many rips and tears in it. A rip in my mind because everything that I wanted in a dream relationship has been corrupted by the people that I trusted. There was a hole in my heart because Eric, Tyler, Becky, Jessica and Mike ripped out piece after piece.

Speaking of Mike, I wonder where he is? He must be in the bathroom where he locked himself away when Eric and Tyler were stealing my virginity. At least Mike's conscience told him that he was doing something wrong.

I heard a door open. I curled into a ball and prayed that I could just die. I could honestly say that I didn't want to live anymore because if I lived I would have to suffer every second of the day. I would have to face my demons everyday and have the grueling thoughts in my head of this night. That's not how it's supposed to feel when you die. I just wanted it all to end.

"Bella…" I heard a faint voice call me. I turned around and it was Mike. When I saw his face, it looked like he had been crying. Why would he cry? He let this happen to me! Mike didn't stop them or try to defend me.

"What Mike? Is it your turn?" I looked up and I noticed that everyone had left the room.

"No Bella. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I should have stopped them when they started. You don't deserve this."

"That's just it Mike, you didn't stop them. You just let this happen. You could have done something, be the better person. They took everything from me, Mike! My dignity, sanity and my virginity!! This was not supposed to happen.

I wanted to be married and have a husband when I gave myself to him, but now I'm damaged goods. No one will want me after this. I don't think that I want to be with anyone after what happened to me tonight. You screwed me over Mike! Everything that I dreamed about, everything that I ever wanted n life has turned into shit!" I spat out of pure rage.

"Bella, I'm sorry I know that does not cover how I feel. I will never be able to make it up to you. I will forever be scared just like you. But all I can do is help you escape from here. They planned to come back and start all over again."

He looked away and went to the drawers. Mike opened the first one and rummaged through the clothes until he produced a black muscle shirt with a gray sweater. He gave them to me and I put them on. They smelled like they were just washed. Mike went through the next few drawers and found some white sweat pants. They were a bit big for me but mike told me to just tie the strings.

Once I told him that I was dressed, he turned around and gave me something. It was the video camera. He opened it to show me that the video was still in. Mike was trying to help me. He wanted me to escape from this and never look back. I knew this was going to be hard to forget something like this. I don't think I would be able to.

"Here Bella." Mike handed me a pair of shoes. They were like running shoes. I put them on in a kind of trance. Maybe the shock was still fresh in my body. Damn, this was going to be tough.

"Bella, take this." He handed me a 10 dollar bill.

"If you can't walk, just call a cab and go home. I don't know what else to say Bella except I wish that someday you could forgive me." A tear crawled down his face as he said that. Somehow I didn't know if he was telling the truth. Was he being real or was this a show to get my hopes up so they could be broken again?

"He is telling the truth." Said the mysterious, beautiful voice.

It was comforting. It was the only voice that I could trust at the moment. I wish I could see the face that goes with the soft, velvet voice. I bet the face is just as beautiful as the voice.

"Ok Mike, thanks for helping me."

"I would like to hug you but I think that would be uncomfortable for you." He said.

"Yeah. Please don't hug me. Don't touch me." I cautioned.

I heard a crash from outside the window and Mike went to investigate what the commotion was.

"You're lucky! Take the money and camera and go home. There is a fight and it looks like everyone is in the backyard. I can see Becky, Eric, Jessica and Tyler."

"Ok." I muttered.

"Bella, just always know that I'm sorry for everything that happened." He apologized once again.

"I'll try." I whispered.

He smiled and I just kept a blank expression on my face. It would take a great deal of effort to make me smile. I knew I was traumatized beyond the limit because I was so cautious of everything. Especially cautious of people.

I ask myself, 'Is this person going to hurt me?'

'Should I be worried about this person?'

I was so messed up.

I walked slowly towards the door and out into the hall way. When I reached the top of the stairs, I went down as slowly as possible. It hurt between my legs and every times when I stepped down, the pain shot up to my stomach and it made me sick. At some point I knew that I was going to throw up tonight. It was going to be unavoidable.

There were a lot of things that crossed my mind.

_Was I ever going to tell Charlie?_

_How would I ever face the people at school?_

The endless sneers that I would receive and the whispers behind my back were going to be a constant in my life. The ridicule would follow me everywhere I would go. I would be the girl who drank a little too much and probably let this happen to herself. No one was going to believe the wasted girl at the party. I would have to change schools or probably move to another town. Once I did I would never look back. My sanity was dwindling away and if I was to return, the little sanity I had left was going to be non-existent.

Charlie would be devastated to know that his only daughter was a victim to a horrible rape at such an innocent age in Covington Heights, Washington. Or would Charlie actually care? He never showed the smallest amount of interest in my welfare, why start now. It would not matter to him anyway. He would most likely be ashamed of me and would never want to look at me again because he would be disgusted by knowing what happened.

I completed my journey down the stairs and looked both ways as if I was going to cross the street. The house looked empty except the few couples in the living room preoccupied with making out to notice me walk through.

I reached the front door and heard the crowd make its way back into the house. That was my cue to walk out the door. Once again I rushed out of the walkway of the horror house and observed my surroundings.

There were two houses to my right, but at my left there was a forever of lush green forest. My best bet was to escape through the forest. I walked as fast as I could due to the excruciating pain radiating from my center. Would I have to go to the hospital? The shame alone was going to kill me.

"You must rest Bella." The soothing voice told me. It was an order but it was said in the most caring, gentle way possible. Firm, yet soft at the same time.

How I wished to connect the face with the beautiful arch angel voice! I would give anything to see the person who was making me have such wonderful hallucinations. Wait… hallucinations? That could mean only one thing…

I was going crazy…

Before I knew it, I had walked a great distance into the forest. The only light I had was the hazy moon creeping in through the gaps of the trees. I came to a fallen tree that looked like a natural bench.

"Bella, sit. Please?" My angel asked.

"Okay." I responded.

Well that was another sign that added to my insanity. I was talking to an imaginary person. But the beautiful voice was so clear as if the person was standing next to me. The person must not be human at all.

At that moment, I realized that whether the person was human or not was totally peripheral to me. I think this would be the only inhuman being that I would trust. Maybe if I had the chance I would actually let this person hold me, comfort me and maybe, _just maybe_, love me. That would suit me just perfectly.

I felt the tree to see if there were any rough spots that I should be cautious of. It felt unusually smooth. Maybe I was getting a break from my horrid night. When I sat down, the pain returned. My body was reaching its limit and the pain was excellent proof of that. Something was telling me that I might have to go to the hospital. My stubbornness always got the best of me and that was what prevented me from seeking medical attention.

"Bella, promise me that you will go. Someone will take care of you." My angel was practically begging me to go.

I should listen to him. He knows what is best for me. I got curious and wondered what my angel look like if I could picture him. He would have the most beautiful hair that anyone could ever dream of. His locks would be made of the most expensive silk.

Other angels would do the impossible just to have something similar to his. His eyebrows and nose would be carved out of the most precious material from heaven. His eyes would be priceless gems. My angel's cheeks would be smooth like fire polished glass. The lips like tulips, so soft and perfect. I giggled at my pun.

Wow, I giggled. That proved that this inhuman angel was made for me in every way possible. I would keep hope for my angel to save me.

"Destroy the video."

I had forgotten about the video camera in my hands. I lifted it up to my eyes so that I would not have to sit back up and experience the pain again. It was a small camera recorder. I opened it up and pressed the rewind button. When it clicked, I pressed play.

The video stated with Becky taking a few shots. She scrunched her face at the taste of alcohol.

"Whoo!" she screamed.

The music was blaring around the house. The camera was pointed at the dance floor. Bodies were mashed together and were moving frantically to the sound of the base. Couples were grinding and rubbing each other to bring arousal. My stomach turned at this.

How could they stand that? Why would they allow themselves to lose control and make such poor judgments? Then again I could not criticize them because I had done the exact same thing. I had lost my common sense. I could have said no to everything from the very beginning. I wasn't sure who was filming. It was not Jessica because she was in the next scene talking to Becky.

"Becky, why did you bring Bella? She is nothing like us. She is way out of our league."

"Because, Jessica, I have something special planned for her."

"What is it? I'm excited! Can I help?"

"Sure, you can record it." Becky offered.

"Sweet!", Jessica jumped, "but what are we going to do for Bella, or should I say what are we going to do to Bella."

Becky leaned into Jessica's ear and whispered something. Jessica's eyes sparkled with a mixture of disgust, amusement, and fascination. Her mouth turned into a little O and she laughed.

"Oh my gosh! Your really going to do that to her? Why?"

"Because someone needs to slap the innocence off her pretty little face." She said with an evil smile.

"Becky I don't know about this. I don't have anything against her. I just didn't want her to come." Jessica explained.

"Jessica; Eric, Tyler and Mike are already in on this, we need your help. If not, I still have dirt on you for that little situation that happened between you and your ex-boyfriend. Don't think that I haven't forgotten about it." She said with a perfect poker face.

"No! Becky please! Okay I'll help. Just don't say anything about it. It would ruin everything for me!"

"Great, we start in a few minutes." Becky alerted.

I pressed pause. This was a huge eye-opener to me. Jessica did not want to hurt me. She was blackmailed by Becky. She didn't want any part of my attack to take place. I could not be mad her for that. She was going to suffer if she didn't help Becky and I didn't want her to on my account. My conscience would not be able to sustain that kind of guilt. I look at the camera and pushed play. With what I saw next, I wish I didn't.

The next scene was Tyler and Eric removing their shirts. The site made me gag. Then the camera pointed to me. I was on the bed staring at the camera when Becky came and slapped me. The sound of her hand coming across my face made me wince and I touched where she had struck me. It still hurt, so she must have put some force behind it.

Then the camera moved to get a better view of my physical beating. My body hurt just looking at my own attack. The whole time Becky was attacking me; Eric and Tyler were laughing. I didn't hear a girls laugh so Jessica must have kept her mouth shut. But the other two were being amused by my pain. This was the funniest thing they could ever witness.

Becky finished and I closed my eyes. She was not my friend at all. She didn't care about me like she said she had. All her words were a slap in the face. Literally. She had the audacity to look me in the eye and spit out lies one by one. I was right to feel uneasy about my purpose to Becky.

The thing was; I had no purpose to her. I was _nothing_. My entire life I had wished for friends to make me feel whole. I needed someone to depend on, someone I could talk to about my problems. No one was ever there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Everything was falling apart around me and no one was there to help me pick up the pieces.

"AHHHH!!"

My eyes flew open to see Eric on top of me robbing me of my virginity. He went through his motion and I felt my stomach flip and drop. Yup, that's when I knew I was going to throw up. I set the camera down and flew off the log to vomit. It burned coming back up my throat.

Must have been the alcohol that I drank. I don't remember eating anything, so it was mostly liquids. I finished and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of the sweater. I put my forearm on the base of the tree and pushed off. I felt something puncture my skin.

"OUCH!" I screamed, yanked away my arm and herd the tear of fabric. I raised my arm to inspect the damage. From my wrist to the crease of my elbow was a huge ragged slash. Blood was pouring out of my arm and dripped down to the forest floor. When I saw my injury, I marveled at the amount of blood that was still oozing out. Then I realized something else. When I was bleeding, all my problems seemed to vanish. I didn't worry about my so called friends. Everything that had been stressing me out disappeared in an instant. I loved the feeling it gave me. The release was amazing. A smile stretched across my face at my realization. I think I found my true love.

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**Thanks for reading my story... some of the emotions that bella has are mine.. I was in a really dark place in my life and I wanted to express it. please review and i will update sooner. and I want more readers and reviews!!! come on people!!! i need them like i need tofu and soy burgers to live!!! lol..**

**-bea**


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note…

Ok everyone im back… I know its been a few years since we have met…my laptop was on the frits for a while and I have been trying to fix it.. but that didn't take years to accomplish.. It was just a random day in February that I cracked open the computer and fixed it myself! I have been busy with school, and work… it's a constant in my life… I have been working on new material and I have come up with a new story! I haven't typed it out yet but im working on it… just be a little patient with me… ill update From Hell to Heaven soon as I can… that's all I can offer at the moment… ill be working on it kiddos don't fret… ~Bea…


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